My Crank Fell Off...Again...

...And now it's broken. 63 miles into my 80 mile ride yesterday my left crank just popped off.

Now, the last three times that it came off it was more of a slow wobble and I noticed it before it was dangling from my cleat. Not yesterday.
It just seemed to drop off. It probably was getting a little wiggly and I didn't notice, but it happened much quicker this time.
I'm guessing this is because the threads are worn off. Which means the left crank won't attach to the 'drive spindle'. (These are SRAM Red cranks...sigh)

The last three times this happened I saw that my tool had a large 10 mil Allen key. But was pretty disappointed that it didn't have an 8 mil. I mean what's up with that?
But since then I've discovered that if you take off the big 10 mil part there's an 8 mil hidden beneath it! Genius! Well, kind of.
So, yesterday, I was pretty jazzed about whipping out my 8 mil, tossing the cranking on and being on my merry way.

But when I pushed the crank snug and started tightening the nut it kept turning and turning and turning. At first I thought the nut wasn't catching and tried to firm the crank down on the spindle. But then I realized that the nut would get a bit tight and then slip. Over and over again. Sure sign that something in there was stripped.
I hoped the problem was some junk in the spindle so I wiped my pinky inside to check. But besides from a little bit of grease the only thing I found was a coil of the treading that come out around my finger. Not a good sign.
After that I tried standing on the crank to get some of the deeper threads to catch. No such luck.
It was becoming aparent that this crank was jacked.

Being out in Stow, calling someone to come get me wasn't really an option. So I resigned myself to single right leg drills on the flats/downs and walking the ups until I could find a busy road and hitch back towards Walden and the High School.

I did make it to 117 without too much trouble. Albiet a lot of cursing. And I did catch a ride with a very talkative 20 something carpenter named Branden without too much waiting. Thanks Branden. But my ride only got me to nine acre crossing. Alas, I had some more single leg peddling and walking ahead of me.
When I was walking I tried to thumb a ride the rest of the way. One nice guy stopped but he had an SUV with two kids and little room in the back, plus he wasn't really going my way. Other than that nothing doing.

But I did finally make it back to my car and I like to think that my right leg has a better pedal stroke because of the whole ordeal. Silver lining?

The other good news...well kind of...wait it's not good news at all it's just convient. Is that I have to disasemble my BMC because the BB shell is coming loose from the carbon. Then the frame has to go back to BMC and with any luck I'll be getting a freshie. So, at the same time my crank set can head back to SRAM with similar results...with any luck...
Guess I'll be riding the cross bike avec slicks for a few. Boo Yah.